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I came to the sweetest realization last night. I am in love with Victoria. A few weeks ago we had this conversation where she said how she�was confused about how much/if she loves me with all the dependency she has on me. She was having a wierd time. I took that to mean that she didnapos;t love me. So for the past few weeks Iapos;ve been freaking out. Iapos;ve been very anxious. My head kept running. Should I stay...should i go....how do i cope with this...It got to the point where i was grumpy most of the time simply becasue i wasnapos;t really present in my life most of the time. I talked with V about it last night. First, I actually shared that I FINALLY actually recognized that i was anxious (which up till then i hadnapos;t).Then, i realized how faith based of a person I really am. Iapos;ve come through atlot of things, both with V and before her, but in all those times it was my faith in something that kept me going. With V it was my faith that we would get through things and have a good loving relationship that got me through the tough times in our relationship. Once I began�to lose that faith I began to fall apart. Once i actually opened up and shared myself with V, i started to actually be present with her. I could see and really feel how much I am in love with her. I could feel the chemstry and attraction we have. It was awesome. And i become full again. And my faith returned to me. Like it was said in the�movie "Dogma", when�your youngyour faith is like a small cup.It is easy�to fill up. But as you grow up, the cup gets bigger. It takes more to fill it up.�All day Iapos;ve been sooo full of love. I heard this song and I love it and have to dedicate it to my Sexy Person.



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